It is official now, I have been exiled from Swabia for not being miserly enough.
One has to know that in Swabia, money is the highest good and has to be valued above all else. Financial status is of utmost importance and the average citizen is so tight, you couldn’t pull a penny out of their arse with a tractor.
As it happened, I have split restaurant bills evenly (“just make it twenty for each of us”) on too many occasions. A stark violation of local laws, which require each patron to pay for their own food and drinks and not a cent more.
Last week the Ministry of Schwabentum officially notified me of my third and final violation and – as direct consequence of that – my immediate eviction from the “Ländle”.
It would be futile to argue and point fingers here. I know I did wrong. I know I did it in full mental capacity and willingly. All that is left now is to look forward.